In Pursuit Of Suffering

I’ve never liked running.

Don’t get your hopes up, I’m still not a fan. I’ve always been drawn to the simplicity of just needing some shoes and the time but the experience of being out and doing it was just miserable. While looking for the “runner’s high” I just found side stitches and asthma.

Have you heard of David Goggins? To put him incredibly mildly, he’s a badass. He was severely beaten as a child, grew to be 300 pounds, lost the weight, became a navy seal after going through Hell Week (the hardest week in Navy Seal training) 3 times, the last time he did Hell Week he did it almost entirely on broken legs. After serving he’s become an ultra-endurance athlete and has run 240 mile races multiple times.

He went from nobody to the living definition of intense. Get his book on audio, its over 117,000 reviews speak for itself.

One of the main things Goggins talks about is the importance of suffering, to callus yourself and your mind. When done well, this allows you to face the things you don’t want to do, attack them and get to the other side. To suffer well is a skill. To develop that skill you need to suffer.

I’ve never liked running.

Which is fine because I’m not running, I’m pursuing suffering. I’m shocked at the power of this reframe. Where I used to go for a run and hope to suffer as little as possible, I now go run and eagerly await what form of suffering will come up first.

Which side am I going to feel side stitches on? If both then which one first? What is the pain actually like? Where is it sharpest? What’s it like while it’s coming on? What is it like while it fades out? Can I notice the absolute last moment that it’s there? My quads are burning from squats yesterday. What’s that sensation like at a detailed level? How is going uphill different from going down?

My asthma is kicking in. Emotionally I’m getting kind of anxious about it. Where am I feeling tightness in my chest and lungs? How much is my lung capacity inhibited? The sensation kind of burns, how does it impact the side stitches?

With this reframe I win no matter what happens. If I don’t get side stitches and my asthma keeps its cool then I get to exercise and build physical capacity. If I do suffer then I get the added benefit of examining that experience, training my mind, and getting the reps in doing something that (safely) hurts.

The ritual I’ve developed around running involves more suffering than that. When I get home I grab my bluetooth speaker, cue up Master of Puppets, head to the bathroom and turn the shower on cold. As soon as I hit play I get in and start taking a cold shower. Once the vocals come in I know it’s been a minute. When that happens I turn the water warm and go about my ordinary shower.

The combo of being warm on the inside, cold on the outside and then warm out the outside is such an interesting physical sensation. I literally always feel amazing after doing this which gives all the preceding suffering new meaning. The suffering of the run and in the cold has been the foreplay to this magnificent feeling.

Another word for this genre of suffering is stress. The right kind of stress builds capacity. Lift weights in the right way and you build the capacity to lift more. Run consistently and stretch out and you’ll develop the capacity to run farther and more easily. Learn to manage a team of three people and you can more easily manage four.

If you want to get where you want to go then you’ll certainly suffer on the way there. By definition, where you want to go is not where you presently are. Between here and there are obstacles and your ability to face those obstacles will impact your willingness to embark on, and complete, that journey. Taking time today to develop your ability to suffer tomorrow is the path to a better future.

Here’s some prompts to consider reflecting on: What have I previously disliked or hated doing that I now enjoy? How would my life be better if I had the capacity to suffer a little more? What’s something I dislike that I’m currently stuck doing that I can reframe into something empowering? Where can I deliberately dip my toe into some harmless suffering with an upside?

Go get the reps.

(If the essence of this post could be put into a song it would be this.)